Spiritual Formation Across the Lifespan
Introduction
In this paper, we will look at
spiritual formation across the lifespan. Emphasis will be on the responsibility of
the church. Too often, the church focuses too much on the pastor and a few of
the families that have been a part of the church for a while, or, even worse,
those who have money and influence. When local churches use its resources; God,
people, money, and material items, they will grow as a functioning member of
the Body of Christ. Individuals within the church will also develop not only as
mature Believers, but mature members of society, influencing their families,
workplaces, communities, and their church family. The church needs to
understand growth goes beyond spirituality; for to be a healthy member of God’s
Kingdom; one must also be a healthy member of one’s family, workplace, and
community.
Let us look at the spiritual formation
across the lifespan:
Infants and Toddlers Through Age
Eight
The obvious beginning of spiritual
formation across the lifespan is with infants and toddlers through the age of
eight. Infants and toddlers spend their waking hours experiencing anew the five
senses God has given them. “They are learning about the permanence of objects, the
trustworthiness of community’s means that they can thrive only if we choose to extend
our abundant resources and goodwill to them. We control the human capital of love,
compassion and care that young children so desperately need if they are to experience
God’s love” (Yust, 2007). We can see excitement, fear, frustration, content,
security, and many other emotions when they experience new things in their
lives.
Parents, who are Believers, should
take advantage of their infant and toddler’s curiosity in life, sharing with
them their Creator. Reading to their baby about God, even while in the womb,
will help them to be more curious about their Maker and will help to introduce
His salvation when they are old enough to understand. Listening to a parent
reading God’s Word will help them with what Yust calls “faith memories.”
Infants and toddlers will have memories of what they are experiencing in life,
and God will reveal His love to them through the words their parents share of
His mercy and grace.
Nine to Ten Year Olds
Once the child reaches nine to ten
years old, he/she begins looking at things in a more scientific way. Instead of
taking things at face value, they want to know for themselves through
experimentation or experience what they were taught is true. They start to investigate
things they are experiencing in their life on their own, not always relying on
their parents or another adult. They are viewing their life experiences in a
more cognitive complex way. Their circle of influence has expanded. Instead of
being at home all the time learning from their familiar surroundings, they are
now involved with adults and children with different backgrounds, experiences,
and religious beliefs that will impact them. If parents do not continue to
instill in them God’s truths and His love for them, they will be influenced by
others.
Their cause-effect reasoning
concerning morality is more complex, as well. Instead of simple cause and
effect situations they grew up with; if I do not do what I am told, mommy will
get mad at me. If I touch the stove; it will burn. Now they are faced with more
complicated scenarios that can make things more difficult in their lives if
their parents do not continue to teach them right from wrong, just and unjust.
They are now able to tell if their
parents live what they say, rather than the old mantra, “Do what I say, not
what I do.” Hypocrisy begins to ring ugly in their ears, therefore; parents
must become more aware of how they live around their kids, living a life for
God, not just for themselves. If parents do not live what they teach, children
may find other role models that will impact them possibly in a way that is
contrary to their upbringing.
Middle and High School Children
Once children are Middle and High
School age, parents start to lose their influence unless they build a healthy
growing relationship with their children at an early age. Peer pressure;
wanting to be loved and accepted, can make teenagers do things they know they
should not just to be part of the crowd. It was not a shock to read that of the
“five major sources of support (adults in the congregation, parents, youth
workers, friends in youth group and friends outside youth group); high school
seniors ranked adults in the congregation last” (Kara Powell & Brad M.
Griffin). That is a travesty.
Parents cannot allow their ability to influence
their children, fall to the wayside. Just as with younger children, they cannot
let the TV, Xbox, and other technologies by the parent to their children.
Parents must strive to be their child’s guide in becoming healthy active
members in society. They must continue to love, nurture, and teach their
children right from wrong in every lifespan their child is experiencing.
Parents must always be available to their children; with a listening ear,
helping to mature them as a teenager, and as a Child of God.
Parents must continue to show interest
and enthusiasm for their children’s activities. They must be willing to support
them in their pursuit of learning who they are as young men and women,
struggling through the biological changes along with the psychological
struggles they face as teenagers. Soon, a parent’s influence will at best be
long distance, at worse; nullified by a new circle of influences they
experience as they move away from home, either as students or young
professionals.
Young Adults
Young adults have a desire to be
viewed as an adult; not as a child. They desire to be wanted and needed where
they are. If a church wants to have a healthy young adult program, it must
value their young adults, not as “young,” but as adults. Young adults need to
be applauded for going to church, for most do not. When a young adult wants to
serve God, the church needs to take them under their wings, building them into
the servant of God they desire to be (Flory and Miller, presented by Roberto).
Too often, young adults are thrown off
to the side in congregations today. They are the “young adults;” nothing more,
nothing less. Churches need to mature young adults into leadership roles, or
they will find their congregations growing old and stagnant. Give them a sense
of ownership in the church, and not only will young adults mature and prosper,
the church will as well.
If young adults are still at home,
give them a sense of ownership, not only in their responsibilities at work or
school, but also give them ownership in the home. Give them the responsibility
of Bible readings, and other activities that will not only promote maturity in
Christ, but also maturity as an adult (Flory and Miller, presented by Roberto).
Churches need to also understand young
adults tend to be more complex. They do not necessarily go to church for spiritual
reasons. Their reasoning for going to church may be their desire to stay a part
of a community; if they grew up in the church. They may want to use a church
just to connect with others through professional and supportive networks.
Churches and parents cannot allow young adults to be driven away because their
needs are not met (Flory and Miller, presented by Roberto).
Building a young adult program in the
church must first understand why young adults come to church. If their program
is only about Bible Study and church service; they will lose their young
adults. Humans never stop growing, never stop learning, and never stop desiring
to experience more in life. The church must continue the role as a parent,
nurturing their young adults, maturing them in the faith, instilling in them
their worth and value. Churches need to get young adults involved in areas of
the church that God has gifted them. They must stop advertising through their
actions that only older adults are worthy to lead the church. Young adults want
to make a mark in life. What better place than a church?
Baby Boomers
In the church, Gary McIntosh describes
Baby Boomers as, “(1) committed to relationships, rather than organizations; (2)
want to belong, rather than join; (3) supportive of people, rather than programs;
(4) long to live their faith, rather than talk about it; (5) wish to be seen as
unique individuals, rather than a monolithic group; (6) desire to design their own
programs, rather than attend ones developed for them; (7) yearn to serve others,
rather than only being served, and (8) crave meaningful activity, rather than empty
days. (McIntosh).
Churches must tap the wealth of knowledge
and experience; hopefully maturity, from the Baby Boomer generation. Too many
go to church, sit in the pew, listen to the music and sermon; and then go home.
God has gifted everyone with talents that would be beneficial not only in the
outside world, but also in the church. Churches must recognize Baby Boomer
desire to serve. They want to help, but no one ask. The best way for Baby
Boomers to continue their growth with Christ is by serving. Churches need to
find out what their gifts are, placing them in positions to develop the members
into a healthy functioning church.
Baby Boomers are starting to see that
their life is more than halfway over. They want to leave a legacy, they want to
leave a mark in this world. If they are not given the opportunity to serve in
their church, they will go elsewhere, seeking to fulfill their desire to serve.
A wealth of information and insight just sits there every Sunday, waiting to
blossom.
Elderly
Churches usually use the elderly,
either as nursery workers or deacons. Though they are not able physically to do
everything they used to do, they still have the desire to be needed and loved.
William Glasser (Reality Therapy), states we all have five basic needs and
feelings. Number one: Survival: Physiological Need. We all will do what we need
to do to survive. Survival is on the mind and heart of the elderly in our
society, for they know their time on earth is almost over. Number two: Love and
Belonging. We all need to feel that we are loved. We also need to love others to
continue to be healthy in our personal lives; both physically and
psychologically. Number three: Power: Physiological Need. We all need to feel
like we have accomplished and succeeded in our life. We need to know we have
made a difference in our society, most importantly, in our home. Number four:
Freedom to Express Ideas, choices and ability to be constructively creative:
Psychological Need. We all need to feel like we still have our freedom; freedom
to think, freedom to go places, freedom to do things, freedom to be who were
are. Number five: Fun: Psychological Need. We all spend our whole lives playing
and learning (Glasser, Grant).
In Glasser’s five basic needs, he
failed to understand the need for spirituality. We cannot effectively help
others, or ourselves, without God in the equation. Spirituality is a must for a
healthy productive life in every stage of life. The elderly need to be valued
and used by the church to do more than watch babies during the service and sit
on board meetings. Many of the elderly still
desire to share their faith, show their love and grow their community into
active members of their society. They also want to help them become active members
of God’s Kingdom.
For those who are unable to go to
church; nursing homes, and hospice care; the church needs to show them they
care. They need to show them they are important and are still needed. The
elderly are still able to do many things for the church, their families, and for
their communities. Nobody seems to want to ask them to get involved. We have
this concept in our society that just because they have retired from their
jobs, they have also retired from God’s service. That should never be the case.
The church needs to actively involve their elderly in whatever service they are
still able to perform.
The sunset should only be a road of
service for the elderly. Fredrica Harris Thompsett gives Five Marks of Mission
for the elderly. “Number one: To proclaim the Good News of the Kingdom. Number
two: To teach, baptize and nurture new Believers. Number three: To respond to
human need by loving service. Number four: To seek to transform unjust
structures of society. Number five: To strive to safeguard the integrity of
creation and sustain and renew the life of the earth” (Thompsett).
We need to stop thinking the elderly
want to relax and wait for their time on earth to be over. They still desire to
do things, still desire to be used, still want to love and be loved, still
desire to grow in faith, and still desire to help others in their walk with
Christ. They want to make a mark in life. They want to leave a living legacy
for their Savior. The church is failing the elderly, their members, their
society, and God when they overlook the elderly in its ministry.
Conclusion
In all stages of life, we need to help
others, and ourselves grow physically, psychologically, and spiritually. To
live life without feeling needed, would be a travesty. We need to be willing to
grow as a person and help others to grow as well, to be active members of
society, and active members of God’s Kingdom. We cannot do that by sitting on
the sidelines, waiting for our time to expire. We should not allow ourselves nor
others to sit back and waste away, losing their humanity and spiritualness, by
not actively engaging with others. We need to create opportunities for them to develop
in their maturity in Christ and in their life. We also need to help them develop
others. We all need to be active in our lives to make us feel worthwhile and
needed.
As parents, we need to nurture and
love our children, teaching them right from wrong, just from unjust, preparing
them to be active, healthy members of our society. When parents are successful,
their children will pave the road for a better tomorrow through their service
for the community and God. Let us make a difference.
References
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William
Glasser & Dr. Sheila K. Grant, Reality Therapy, Chapter 11,
Retrieved
March 29, 2014, from http://www.csun.edu/~hcpsy002
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Presenter:
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Formation
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